As most know ~ I am a teacher. While there are more and more men becoming teachers the field is still predominantly women. Do you see where I am going? There are nearly a dozen pregnant teachers in our building this year. I cope...I have no choice. I am happy for all of my pregnant colleagues. I am not so fragile that they can't talk about their pregnancies around me. However, baby showers are just too much for me to handle.
There was another baby shower thrown today and I did not attend. I sent my colleague an e-mail afterward and told her I want her to know it is not personal and that I just don't "do baby showers" right now. She responded that she totally understands. I always send a gift when the baby is born, but I still feel guilty for being a baby shower "no show". Is it wrong to skip baby showers? I would rather not go than run the risk of being emotionally overwhelmed and having to excuse myself. I don't think that would be fair to the mother-to-be who is being honored. So, bloggers ~ how do you handle showers?
Friday, May 23, 2008
Baby Showers
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2 comments:
I don't go to baby showers. If I have to throw the shower (someone on my academic team), I arrive about 10 minutes after the guest of honor, do the "Congratulations" kiss, and leave. Otherwise, I arrive after the festivities are OVER, take my bagel, and slip out. If the guest of honor is a good friend, I give my personal gift a few days later, totally unrelated to the shower. (I also chip in my $5 for the group gift.) People seem to understand. Actually, two close friends have purposely NOT told me they were pregnant until it was "too late," because they just felt so bad for me. (And of course not telling me their good news made me feel WORSE, but how do you explain that to someone who thinks they are doing a good thing?)
I did not do baby showers during my later TTC years ( I did in the early years, convinced that pregnancy was contagious and a shower was my ticket to pregnancy)
Allowing myself to NOT do baby showers was one of the most empowering things I have ever done for myself.
Give yourself permission to never feel obligated to do another baby shower. Give yourself permission to never feel guilty for the baby showers you do not attend.
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